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Discussion Board
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Six-Trait Writing Exercises |
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| After reading the linked material on the Six
Trait writing process...
1.. Read "The Redwoods."
Describe
your personal reaction to the story.
2. Read "Mouse Alert." Describe
your personal reaction to the story.
3. Now, compare your reactions to the two stories.
4. Copy the stories into a Microsoft Word table with two columns with
the story in the left column and your suggestions on the right. Go to the
Revising Guide and complete the
revising exercise.
5. Use the simple
Scoring Grid to score each of the
stories.
6. Send your
reactions and scores in a single document to Dr.
Schulz as an
attachment. Be sure to type EDU352a and 6-triats in the
Subject line.
7. Go to the
Discussion Board to describe what you have learned from working with
these stories. Watch the board next week for more information
about these stories. |
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THE REDWOODS |
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Last year, we went on a vacation and we had a wonderful time. The
weather was sunny and warm and there was lots to do, so we were never
bored. My parents visited friends and took pictures for their friends back
home. My brother and I swam and also hiked in the woods. When we got
tired of that, we just ate and had a wonderful time.
It was exciting and fun to be together as a family and to do things
together. I love my family, and this is a time that I will remember for
a long time. I hope we will go back again next year for more fun and an
even better time than we had this year. |
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Mouse Alert |
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As soon as school was out, we left on vacation. Nothing went the way
it was supposed to. Dad backed into a tree on the way out of the
driveway, pushing the bike rack through the rear window and nearly
scaring my sister to death. She was cranky the rest of the trip. We had
to take our other car, which is smaller and you can’t hook the bike rack
up to it. Now my sister and me were crowded together so much she kept
complaining about me breathing on her and taking up all her air and foot
room. Plus now Dad knew a big bill would be waiting for him when we got
home. It put everyone in a lovely trip stating mood. We were supposed to go to Yellowstone Park. Well, actually, we did
but just barely. I think we hold the world’s record for shortest time
spent in the park. This was all due to my mother’s new attitude toward
animals. The night before yellowstone we stayed in a cabin on the edge
of the park. It had a lot of mice, but most of them had the good sense
to stay hidden in the walls. One poor furry guy had a death wish and
showed himself. The whole family went into action. My father got a
broom, which looked like an oversized weapon for a mouse. My mother
hugged her pink flannel nightgown around her knees, jumped up on a wood
chair and started shrieking "Kill him! Kill him!" Her eyes were as big
as her fists. I ahd never seen her quite so blood thirsty. My sister
spent the whole time dancing on the bed crying her eyes out and yelling,
"Don’t kill it Dad! Don’t kill it!" It was up to Dad and me to trap it.
We got it in a pickle jar and took it down to the lake and let it go. It
seemed really happy to get away from us. I thought I knew how it felt.
The next day we raced through Yellowstone and then headed home. My
Mother said she had enough of animals. For weeks afterwards, this was
the big story she told everyone who asked about our vacation. You’d have
thought the whole point of our trip was to go on a mouse hunt. Dad said
all the money we saved by not staying at Yellowstone could go to pay for
the broken car window, so for him the trip worked out perfect. As for
me, I’m still planning to get back to Yellowstone one day. I want to see
something bigger than a mouse. |
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Excerpted from Spandel, V., (2005), Creating Writers. Pearson Longman. P.
42-43 |
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